How to Get Over Your Ex

You told me we shouldn’t talk anymore. Numerous times, in fact. And then what happens? I tell you we need to stop talking and you get mad at me. Okay, so maybe it was more along the lines of “I’m done wasting my time with you”, but still.

Now I’m just waiting for you to text me back. I’m wondering if you’re mad. Are you angry at me for wanting to live a normal life without the thought of you in the back of my mind?

But secretly, you want me to be like that all the time. And I refuse to be a back up. I refuse to wait around for you to see how perfect we are for each other. I CAN’T WAIT ANYMORE! So I go ahead and say it, and you act like you’ve been stringing me along this entire time. Really, you’re just stringing yourself along. I’m waiting for you to meet another girl in whatever large city you’re in now. I’m waiting for you to move on without me. I feel like it’s inevitable.

I’m bracing myself for the hurt. But you haven’t hurt me a second time yet because I keep retracted my feelings, retracting my love, and taking back everything I said that would make you think that I still love you.

Because I do.

Two days ago, I told you I was done with you. That I didn’t want to waste my time with you anymore. And all I wanted for you to do was counteract. But there was no response. There was no “You’re right, I want to change that.” Or even a “I do feel that way about you.” Nothing but anger… via text for chrissake.

I want to call you but I don’t have the nerve. I keep looking at my phone because it’s the only action I can take now. I am losing my appetite because I’m so anxious to hear from you. I can’t socialize, talk for a long time, breathe without checking my phone. Please rescue me from the worst kind of pain. The kind that doesn’t go away because you don’t know when it can go away. The kind that only comes from waiting.